Chemo - Round Three

Facebook Post from November 8, 2010 at 6:23am
“Rise and shine!!!! Up early getting ready for the poison - Round Three is today. Guess what that means? We are HALF WAY DONE with this junk, people!! WOOHOO!!! January 10 will be just around the corner (last treatment), And today I am lucky enough to have great company, all the way from CA - my wonderful Dad, Bob, is here to be with me. Love it!”

Round three was on Monday, November 8, 2010. My step-dad Bob had taken a week off of work to come out to help and to go to chemo with me. Michael was out of town for work and would miss my treatment day - it was the perfect opportunity to get some TLC from one of my favorite people! The kids were also excited to have Grandpa at our house for a whole week. We even took in a Ravens game before the impending doom set in.




I felt like it was very important for my family to see me before the round of chemo took its toll - to see me up and about, happy, and functioning normally. I wanted them to know that despite the rough weeks after chemo, I wasn’t always that sick. I thought that if they had only seen me at my worst, it would make the fact that we were so far away that much more difficult to handle. I can imagine it was painful for them to watch me go from happy and involved to miserable and withdrawn. But to me, it made a difference that everyone knew it wasn’t always that way. There was joy in my life, despite the misery my body was experiencing. I NEEDED my family to know that.

The treatment went like all the others – nothing out of the ordinary, which is always good. Bob and I had lunch from the cafeteria, and we sat and talked and reminisced while the poison pumped on. We even had smoothies from Smoothie King again, although I have to say it was the last smoothie I would drink for a long time. Everything was just too sweet for me, and the smell of the medicine mixed with the taste of the smoothie was a combination that began to make my stomach turn.



The time Bob was with us flew by. He cooked, helped with the kids and kept me company (although I was not the best company, it was great to have him here). He went to Ryan’s Boy Scout Pack meeting, where Ryan was receiving his Wolf badge. He even taught Ryan to make scrambled eggs! The love a father has for his daughter is unconditional, and I needed that love during this time.




Looking back, I think this round of chemo was one of the most difficult that I experienced. Everything just seemed worse. I had started getting neuropathy in my fingers – tingling, numbness and pain (mainly in my thumbs). I was also starting to see issues with my nails, a common side effect. My fingernails had ridges in them – there were lines in the nails that went white, pink, white, pink. My two big toenails hurt and had turned yellow and brown, like I had injured them. I knew they would fall off, it was just a matter of time.

I had every symptom that normally accompanied chemo, but everything seemed heightened this time through. My family was too loud – I had a hard time being around my kids in the living room. All the noise of their wonderful lives and their endless kid energy combined with our hard wood floors and echoing living room made my head ache. Being up in my room became a way of life for those first few days post treatment. I even began eating alone in my bed. But then being in bed for an extended period of time was hard on my body as well. I honestly felt like I was 100 years old. I ached all over, and had muscle tension like I had been working out, even though it had been months since I had been in a gym. Sleep was elusive, but the Ambien helped a little. Driving in the car was also extremely uncomfortable – I could feel every bump, and it made my whole body hurt. But I knew each day I would feel better than the last, even if it was just a little bit. I had something to look forward to.

Facebook Post from November 9, 2010 at 9:56pm
“mmmm...Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Why do I love you so much?”

Despite feeling utterly miserable, I had no problem eating. And of course, I couldn’t taste much, but cinnamon was one of the few things that still sounded good and I could kind of taste. I ate bowls and bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What was I, eight?

Facebook Post from November 13, 2010 at 2:20pm
“LONG week this week....still waiting for my energy to kick in. 4 days in bed is just too many!”

Facebook Post from November 22, 2010 at 10:37pm
“FINALLY feeling like a semi-normal human being today, 14 days post treatment!!! Ok, well I guess the normal part is debatable..... :) One week of feeling good before we do it all over again. That is something to be grateful for!”

It took 2 weeks for me to get my energy back. But I was half way done, and that was something to celebrate! I had made it this far - I could certainly endure 3 more treatments and then begin to put this whole thing behind me.